# Masculinites

Published 2023-08-01

In today's society, discussions around gender identity and diversity are becoming increasingly prevalent. While much of this discourse is centered around the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community, it's equally important to explore these topics from a non LGBTQ+ male perspective. In this blog post, I will delve into the complexities of masculinity, identity, and the importance of embracing diversity.

Drawing from a range of sources, including academic research, philosophical concepts, and personal reflections, I aim to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and femininity. I will explore how these concepts are constructed and maintained through social norms, stereotypes, and even our education system. Furthermore, I will discuss the impact of these constructs on our mental health, work-life balance, and societal structures.

By sharing my thoughts and experiences, I hope to encourage a more nuanced understanding of masculinity, and invite you, the reader, to reflect on your own perceptions and experiences. So, let's embark on this journey of exploration and self-discovery together.

# Identity

Who are you, or what is your identity?

Strange question?

At least for me it was not something I thought about in depth. I'm Florian, a 32-year-old male living in Berlin. If you've known me for a while, you know that I'm a strong advocate for diversity, equality and inclusion - DEI. As such, I have learnt a lot over time and especially that this question is much harder if you have a different cultural background, a disability or are a member of the LGBTIQ+ community. But it took me some time to realise that this is something worth thinking about, even as a native German, (not so old), white, male in Germany.

So what exactly is an identity?

# Personal identity

My personal identity in this sense consists of those properties I take to “define me as a person” or “make me the person I am”.
OR
Identity is the relation each thing bears only to itself.
source

I've done some research and found that Philosophical Introduction.
So basically an identity is a collection of properties that describe me as a person and uniquely identify me.

My name
My age
Gender
Religion
Place of birth
Height

This list is not exhaustive. Some of these attributes are more "important" than others in our society. They not only identify me, but also determine some rules and rights which are called social constructs.

A social construct is the set of rules and rights that are associated with an attribute. For example, if you are a member of a particular religious group, social rules define how and when to pray. Today I want to focus on the social construct around biosocial sex called gender. (If you want to dive deeper, I would suggest starting here. Link )

# Sex / Gender

Sex refers to a set of biological attributes in humans and animals. It is primarily associated with physical and physiological features including chromosomes, gene expression, hormone levels and function, and reproductive/sexual anatomy.
Sex is usually categorized as female or male but there is variation in the biological attributes that comprise sex and how those attributes are expressed.

Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and gender diverse people.
It influences how people perceive themselves and each other, how they act and interact, and the distribution of power and resources in society.
Gender identity is not confined to a binary (girl/woman, boy/man) nor is it static; it exists along a continuum and can change over time. There is considerable diversity in how individuals and groups understand, experience and express gender through the roles they take on, the expectations placed on them, relations with others and the complex ways that gender is institutionalized in society.
Source

If you're like me, you've probably never thought about it too much. Maybe you have noticed that the discussion around this topic is mostly driven by or centered around non-binary, trans, or queer individuals. But I think it's also worth talking about, from a more "binary" perspective.

Why? Because it turns out not to be so binary after all.

Source of Digram

People are distributed bimodally with the majority of people landing around ~95% male or ~95% female. People at 100% male would be your "macho-men", and 100% female would be your "girly-girls". Most people aren't quite as extreme as these two sets, but still fit pretty close to the cis-gendered stereotypes. They are comfortable there, secure in their perception of their gender.
What's in the middle is the non-binary gender symbol.

But what exactly does 'being on the spectrum' mean?

Take height for example, most females are on the shorter side and males are on the taller side. This does not mean that there are no tall women or short men. It's just that they're less common, i.e. they're more likely to be at the extreme end of the spectrum.

For some of the characteristics that make up the term male/female, such as height, these differences do not matter so much in everyday life. Others make a big difference.

We group these common occurrences as ether:

Feminine = feminine-like
Masculine = male-like

# Stereotypes

We have also created some stereotypes surrounding our two main genders, for example we often tell the story that females are less able to navigate, but it turns out that this is not true.
Source.

We also have a stereotype that males are more aggressive than females. This is also wrong.
Source

We tell ourselves stories about male hunters and female gatherers and caretakers from the Stone Age, which is also not true.
Source

And there are so much more!
The one thing they all have in common is that they are based on measurements.

# Measurement

Paul Slovic, a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon. Slovic argues that evaluation or measurement depends on the choice of its measure and is therefore an exercise of power. Source

This means that the mere fact that we ascribe certain characteristics to a gender and call them feminine or masculine means something to us. They carry a value. We will come to these values later, but first we need to understand social identities as well.

“Masculinity stands for a society in which social gender roles are clearly distinct: Men are supposed to be assertive, tough, and focused on material success."

“Femininity stands for a society in which social gender roles overlap: Both men and women are supposed to be modest, tender, and concerned with the quality of life.”

From Geert Hofstede (2001), Culture’s Consequences, 2nd ed. p 297.
Source

Hofstede also points out that in a "masculine" society, gender roles are strictly separated and do not overlap. Material possessions and economic success are highly valued. These are societies where people live to work.

In a feminine society, gender roles overlap, the same rules and values apply to all gender roles, everyone is expected to be assertive and sensitive. The society values quality of life over material possessions. This leads to a society where you work to live a happy life. We also measure how 'masculine' (or not feminine) our peer group is by country. Index

But why do we do this? What is so special about one's gender?

I've read a book by R.W. Collins "Masculinites".
Where she theorises that there are not one but many social "Masculinites" and because they are structured in a hegemonial way they are in a hiracy.

A dominant group of men who lead,
A group of men who are subordinate to them because they are 'behind' in certain 'masculine' qualities. (e.g. gay men)
Followed by a group who still participate from the 'patriarchal divide' but do not play the 'game' of masculinity themselves. (e.g. watching football but not playing football themselves)
Finally, the marginalised group. E.g. (Men of colour who play football.)

Below that there are all the others like female and feminine men....
This is similar to the term patriarchy but extends the scope and structure within 'ruling' men.

One who is higher in the social "hirachie" carries more rights and value. More respect and social status.
This has some wild side effects as described by the psychologist Alfred Adler in his concept of "masculine protest".
Source
He pointed out that some men and women express themselves as overly "masculine" and coined the terms "manly-man" for men and "tomboy" for women.

But why? Wore freedom as a manly/masculine expression, you might think?

# Fourth-wave feminism

There have been many waves of feminism before and most of them were exclusively about women's rights and at the time there was a desperate need for these movements because women were openly oppressed and did not enjoy equal rights.

Since 2012 there has been a new wave of feminism, often called the 4th wave feminism. Sometimes the question is asked whether it's just a 3rd wave that continues in the internet age. I would strongly disagree with that, because one aspect stands out to me.

Forth-wave Feminism challenges the perception that women are oppressed by men: "Men are not free from this hegemonic hirachy ether. Everyone suffers from the hegemonic system we live in. They argue that men should "join" source the fight for a more "feminine" world. Feminine in the sense of Geerd Hofstede's cultural dimension. I.e. overlapping gender roles, no hegemonic male hierarchy, quality of life over 'success'.

# Appreciation

One aspect of this is that we need to relearn appreciation.

the act of recognizing or understanding that something is valuable, important, or as described:
Source

If we think in terms of hierarchy, we automatically value some people more than others, we evaluate the "value" of someone.
I doubt that we can ever get rid of evaluation, but we can rethink it.

One thought that has always bothered me since I was a teenager, although I did not know why until a few days ago.

I dislike being praised; I much rater prefer when people express their gratitude.
Now I know that praising carries an evaluation of my work, so the person who "evaluates" my "work" puts themselves above me, where they are able to evaluate if I did good or bad.
While someone who thanks me for the help, work... puts themselves on the same level.

In many societies, men are often appreciated for their achievements rather than their character or personal qualities.
This can reinforce the idea that masculinity is about 'doing' rather than 'being.' However, if we start to appreciate men for their kindness, empathy, and other traditionally 'feminine' traits, we can start to challenge these norms.
For instance, instead of only praising boys and men for their achievements, we could also praise them for being caring, sensitive, or cooperative.

But I'm positive that change is coming.
There are already signs of that change.
I will call it "hidden feminism".

# New Work

The term "New Work" was coined by Frithjof Bergmann.
He advocates a different kind of work culture.
Like 4th wave feminism, he argues that purpose-driven, small, independent teams that are free to create are better for everyone.

In many traditional workplaces, long hours and a competitive atmosphere are seen as signs of dedication and ambition, traits often associated with masculinity. However, 'New Work' principles emphasize work-life balance, cooperation, and purpose over competition. Some have implemented four-day work weeks, flexible working hours, and a focus on team collaboration, challenging the notion that 'real men' must work long hours and prioritize work over personal life.

This idea has already gained traction in the startup world and is on the rise in the minds of Gen Y & Z.

# Open Source

Open Source is also a good example of hidden "feminine" values.

C. S. Lewis wrote that the power conferred by knowledge was not power over nature, as is commonly supposed, but power that some men exercised over others, using nature to do so. source

Masculinity sees information or knowledge as a tool for exercising power over others. Feminine, on the other hand, values the sharing of information as beneficial to the group.

Asking for help is seen as weakness by masculine values but not by feminine values.
Source

So I conclude that open source projects, for example in software, are based on feminine values, sharing knowledge, working together.
Purposeful.

# Money

That leaves a big red elephant in the room. What about money?
In a masculine society, individual "success" is often measured in money.
Again it is the exercise of power, why measure success in money and not in social development?
There is this famous quote from the former mayor of Bogotá.

**A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. It's where the rich use public transport. - Gustavo Petro.

There is so much more to this quote than meets the eye.

Public transport is another hidden "feminine" value.
Collective over individual transport. Social status is not shown by possession.
But we need money, so how could money be different to be more feminine?
I remembered a book I read 2 years ago.
It is called "Digni-Geld".

Written by a German finance and game theory professor from Frankfurt a.M.
Source
The term "digni" is derived from the Latin dignus (value) and dignitas (dignity).
He has written a pretty good book here, I would recommend it to anyone, it explains money extremely well.
I can't summarise it here, but the interesting part is what he proposes as a future monetary system.
A system of fixed money based on deflation (because money is fixed and the production of goods increases and accumulates over time the value of any money will increase and so will deflation).
But money is not used for daily payment, but a form of small pieces of "shares" like "ETF's" that represent the economy of a country.
The companies from a country have to pay their taxes to this fund in the form of shares, and so every person holding money automatically gains value over time. Your always "invested" its better then a "basic income" because your not only getting something that loses value over time its gaining value.

The key part here is:
Whoever buys has power over the economy, because resources are still finite, we can only "produce" so much, even if it is done by robots. So if we have a "feminine" society, we value the environment over personal wealth, we would invest in heat pumps and solar more than coal or gas.

# Diversity

There is empirical evidence which indicates that the occupation of multiple social roles is associated with good physical and mental health in both women and men (Barnett and Baruch, 1987, Barnett and Rivers, 1996, Cleary, 1987). In addition, the feminine value pattern allows for a greater variety of gender identities. The Hofstede, 1980, Hofstede, 1993, Hofstede, 2001 findings clearly suggest that in masculine countries, masculine traits are encouraged in males but discouraged in females, whereas feminine traits in males are discouraged and masculine ones encouraged. By contrast, in feminine societies, masculine traits are neither encouraged nor discouraged in either of the sexes, whereas feminine traits are encouraged in both males and females. Importantly, in analysis at the individual level, feminine traits have been found to correlate positively with measures of positive affect, whereas masculine traits have been shown to be negatively associated with mental distress (Arrindell et al., 1997b).
Source

What keeps me positive about change is the discussion about mental health, wellbeing, work-life balance.
But the most important thing for me is just nature.

I have a technical background, so some might call me a technocrat.
But in physics there is this principle of entropy

a measure of the degree of disorder in a substance or system.
So in this analogy, I think it is not "natural" for gender to be "binary".
Mother Nature has always found ways to balance the distribution!

# Education

It was fascinating for me to read what R.W. Collins pointed out about our education system.

In many schools, competitive sports are emphasized over cooperative games, which can reinforce the idea that masculinity is about competition and dominance. Additionally, subjects like math and science are often seen as 'male' subjects, while arts and humanities are seen as 'female' subjects. This can discourage boys from exploring their interests in the arts and humanities and limit their understanding of masculinity. To challenge these norms, schools could offer a wider range of activities and subjects and encourage all students to explore their interests, regardless of gender.

The Education systems around the world are kind of similar because they all more or less are based on the Prussian_education_system
Invented by the Purssian Military in the 18th centuary.
Focused on aspects that are valuable for Military and Administrativ objectives like:

Schools focus on respecting authority
Schools focus on punctuality
Schools focus on measurement
Schools focus on basic literacy
Schools focus on basic arithmetic

Kids of all gender and age are expacted to behave uniformly.
Kids are not expacted to:

ask questions that go deeper into a subject.
work together in groups.
show respect and support slower peers.
Sure while in class this is now accepted practice and sometimes supported but this all ends at the exam day now everybody need to perform uniformly. If one does not perform and fail to much exams one get split from the group which is a harsh penalty for one still developing social skills.

# Concluding remarks

"I wish we could change the way we perceive 'masculinity' and 'femininity'.

Especially for us men, it's crucial to stop judging subconsciously.
A few years ago, I began to question where I judge others and where I feel judged. Perhaps you might find it enlightening to do the same? What do you have to lose? You don't necessarily have to change yourself; maybe you're perfectly fine the way you are. And that's awesome! :-)
However, there might be things you've considered "un-manly" and, as a result, have forbidden yourself from trying. Think about why that is! Here are some of the things I've reflected upon, though your list might look different:

I feel like I'm part of a minority of people in my social circle who enjoy cooking.
I tend to judge others if they cannot cook.
I often feel judged based on my choice of fashion.
I judge others if they are unable to fix things or do DIY projects.
I used to think skincare was not for men.
I often struggle with asking others for help.
I often find myself 'mansplaining,' confidently explaining things I don't fully understand myself. This blog post might even be an example of that!
I find it challenging to openly express my emotions.

Some of these tendencies align more with traditional feminine norms, while others align more with masculine norms. And that's amazing! Let's embrace diversity. We are all unique, and everyone is perfect just the way they are."

Lastly what are your experiences with masculinity? How do you challenge or uphold gender norms in your daily life? Share your thoughts with me or give me feedback to the text via E-Mail or LinedIn.